They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Read online

  When I struck the water I began lashing out with my arms and legs because I was afraid of sharks. Something brushed my body and I screamed in fright.

  I woke up swimming in water that was freezing cold. Instantly I knew where I was. ‘I’ve had a nightmare,’ I told myself. The thing that had brushed my body was a hundred-pound block of ice. I was in a small tank of water in the dressing room. I was still wearing my track suit. I climbed out, shivering, and one of the trainers handed me a towel.

  Two other trainers came in, carrying one of the contestants who was unconscious. It was Pedro Ortega. They carried him to the tank and dumped him in.

  ‘Is that what happened to me?’ I asked.

  ‘That’s right,’ the trainer said. ‘You passed out just as you left the dance floor—’ Pedro whimpered something in Spanish and splashed the water, fighting to get out. The trainer laughed. ‘I’ll say Socks knew what he was doing when he brought that tank in here,’ he said. ‘That ice water fixes ’em right up. Get off those wet pants and shoes.’

  … by the

  Sheriff of

  Los Angeles

  County

  to the

  Warden of

  State Prison …

  chapter nine

  HOURS ELAPSED: 752

  Couples Remaining: 26

  THE DERBY RACES WERE killing them off. Fifty-odd couples had been eliminated in two weeks. Gloria and I had come close to the finish once or twice, but by the skin of our teeth we managed to hang on. After we changed our technique we had no more trouble: we had stopped trying to win, not caring where we finished so long as it wasn’t last.

  We had got a sponsor too: Jonathan Beer, Non-Fattening. This came just in time. Our shoes were worn out and our clothes were ragged. Mrs Layden sold Jonathan Beer on the idea of sponsoring us. Sell St Peter on the idea of letting me in, Mrs Layden. I think I’m on my way. They gave Gloria and me three pairs of shoes, three pairs of grey flannel trousers and three sweaters each with their product advertised on the backs of them.

  I had gained five pounds since the contest started and was beginning to think that maybe we had some chance to win that thousand dollar first prize after all. But Gloria was very pessimistic.

  ‘What are you going to do after this thing is over?’ she asked.

  ‘Why worry about that?’ I said. ‘It’s not over yet. I don’t see what you’re kicking about,’ I told her. ‘We’re better off than we’ve ever been—at least we know where our next meal is coming from.’

  ‘I wish I was dead,’ she said. ‘I wish God would strike me dead.’

  She kept saying that over and over again. It was beginning to get on my nerves.

  ‘Some day God is going to do that little thing,’ I said.

  ‘I wish He would …I wish I had the guts to do it for Him.’

  ‘If we win this thing you can take your five-hundred dollars and go away somewhere,’ I said. ‘You can get married. There are always plenty of guys willing to get married. Haven’t you ever thought about that?’

  ‘I’ve thought about it plenty,’ she said. ‘But I couldn’t ever marry the kind of man I want. The only kind that would marry me would be the kind I wouldn’t have. A thief or a pimp or something.’

  ‘I know why you’re so morbid,’ I said. ‘You’ll be all right in a couple of days. You’ll feel better about it then.’

  ‘That hasn’t got anything to do with it,’ she said.

  ‘I don’t even get a backache from that. That’s not it. This whole business is a merry-go-round. When we get out of here we’re right back where we started.’

  ‘We’ve been eating and sleeping,’ I said.

  ‘Well, what’s the good of that when you’re just postponing something that’s bound to happen?’

  ‘Hey, Jonathan Beer,’ Rocky Gravo called out. ‘Come over here—’

  He was standing by the platform with Socks Donald. Gloria and I went over.

  ‘How’d you kids like to pick up a hundred bucks?’ Rocky asked.

  ‘Doing what?’ Gloria asked.

  ‘Well, kids,’ Socks Donald said, ‘I’ve got a swell idea only I need a bit of some help—’

  ‘That’s the Ben Bernie influence,’ Gloria said to me.

  ‘What?’ Socks said.

  ‘Nothing,’ Gloria said. ‘Go on—you need a bit of some help—’

  ‘Yeah,’ Socks said. ‘I want you two kids to get married here. A public wedding.’

  ‘Married?’ I said.

  ‘Now, wait a minute,’ Socks said. ‘It’s not that bad. I’ll give you fifty dollars apiece and after the marathon is over you can get divorced if you want to. It don’t have to be permanent. It’s just a showmanship angle. What do you say?’

  ‘I say you’re nuts,’ Gloria said.

  ‘She doesn’t mean that, Mr Donald—’ I said.

  ‘The hell I don’t,’ she said. ‘I’ve got no objection to getting married,’ she said to Socks, ‘but why don’t you pick out Gary Cooper or some big-shot producer or director? I don’t want to marry this guy. I got enough trouble looking out for myself—’

  ‘It don’t have to be permanent,’ Rocky said. ‘It’s just showmanship.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Socks said. ‘Of course, the ceremony’ll have to be on the square—we’ll have to do that to get the crowd. But—’

  ‘You don’t need a wedding to get a crowd,’ Gloria said. ‘You’re hanging ’em off the rafters now. Ain’t it enough of a show to see those poor bastards falling all over the floor every night?’

  ‘You don’t get the angle,’ Socks said, frowning.

  ‘The hell I don’t,’ Gloria said. ‘I’m way ahead of you.’

  ‘You want to get in pictures and here’s your chance,’ Socks said. ‘I already got some stores lined up to give you your wedding dress and your shoes and a beauty shop that’ll fix you up there’ll be a lot of directors and supervisors here and they’ll all be looking at nobody but you. It’s the chance of a lifetime. What do you say, kid?’ he asked me.

  ‘I don’t know—’ I said, not wanting to make him sore. After all, he was the promoter. I knew if he got sore at us we were as good as disqualified.

  ‘He says no,’ Gloria said.

  ‘She does his thinking for him,’ Rocky said sarcastically.

  ‘Okay,’ Socks said, shrugging his shoulders. ‘If you can’t use a hundred dollars maybe some of these other kids can. At least,’ he said to me, ‘you know who wears the drawers in your family.’ He and Rocky both laughed.

  ‘You just can’t be polite to anybody, can you?’ I said to Gloria when we had walked away. ‘We’ll be out in the street any minute now.’

  ‘Might as well be now as tomorrow,’ she said.

  ‘You’re the gloomiest person I ever met,’ I said. ‘Sometimes I think you would be better off dead,’

  ‘I know it,’ she said.

  When we came around by the platform again I saw Socks and Rocky talking earnestly to Vee Lovell and Mary Hawley, Couple No. 71.

  ‘Looks like Socks is selling her a bill of goods,’ Gloria said. ‘That Hawley horse couldn’t get in out of the rain.’

  James and Ruby Bates joined up and we walked four abreast. We were on friendly terms again since Gloria had stopped trying to talk Ruby into having an abortion performed. ‘Did Socks proposition you to get married?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘How did you know?’

  ‘He’s propositioned everybody,’ she said.

  ‘We turned him down cold,’ Gloria said.

  ‘A public wedding isn’t so bad,’ Ruby said. ‘We had one’

  ‘You did?’ I said, surprised. James and Ruby were so dignified and quiet and so much in love with each other I couldn’t imagine them being married in a public ceremony.

  ‘We were married in a marathon dance in Oklahoma,’ she said. ‘We got about three hundred dollars worth of stuff too …’

  ‘Her old man gave us the shotgun for a wedding pre
sent—’ James said, laughing.

  Suddenly a girl screamed behind us. We turned around. It was Lillian Bacon, Pedro Ortega’s partner. She was walking backwards, trying to get away from him. Pedro caught up with her, slamming her in the face with his fist. She sat down on the floor, screaming again. Pedro grabbed her by the throat with both hands, choking her and trying to lift her up. His face was the face of a maniac. There was no doubt he was trying to kill her.

  Everybody started running for him at the same time. There was a lot of confusion.

  James and I reached him first, grabbing him and breaking his hold on Lillian’s neck. She was sitting on the floor, her body rigid, her arms behind her, her head thrown back, her mouth open like a patient in a dentist’s chair.

  Pedro was muttering to himself and did not seem to recognize any of us. James shoved him and he staggered backward. I put my hands under Lillian’s armpits, helping her to her feet. She was shaking like a muscle dancer.

  Socks and Rocky rushed up and took Pedro by either arm.

  ‘What’s the big idea?’ Socks roared.

  Pedro looked at Socks, moving his lips but not saying anything. Then he saw Rocky and the expression on his face changed, becoming one of ferocious resentment. He suddenly twisted his arms free, stepping backward and reaching into his pocket.

  ‘Look out—’ somebody cried.

  Pedro lunged forward, a knife in his hand. Rocky tried to dodge, but it all happened so quickly he never had a chance. The knife caught him across the left arm two inches below the shoulder. He yelled and started running. Pedro turned around to follow but before he could take a step Socks hit him in the back of the head with a leather blackjack. You could hear the plunk above the music of the radio. It sounded exactly like somebody thumping their finger against a watermelon. Pedro stood there, an idiotic grin on his face and Socks hit him again with the blackjack.

  Pedro’s arms fell and the knife dropped to the floor. He wobbled on his legs and then he went down.

  ‘Get him out of here,’ Socks said, picking up the knife.

  James Bates, Mack Aston and Vee Lovell lifted Pedro, carrying him off to the dressing room.

  ‘Keep your seats, ladies and gentlemen—’ Socks said to the audience. ‘Please—’

  I was bracing Lillian from behind. She was still shaking.

  ‘What happened?’ Socks asked her.

  ‘He accused me of cheating—’ she said. ‘Then he hit me and started choking me—’

  ‘Go on, kids,’ Socks said. ‘Act like nothing has happened. Hey, nurse—help this girl to the dressing room—’ Socks signalled to Rollo on the platform and the siren blew for a rest period. It was a few minutes early. The nurse took Lillian out of my arms and all the girls gathered around them, going into the dressing room.

  As I went off I could hear Rollo making some kind of casual announcement over the loud speakers.

  Rocky was standing at the wash basin, his coat and shirt off, dabbing at his shoulder with a handful of paper towels. The blood was streaming down his arm, running off his fingers.

  ‘You better get the doctor on that,’ Socks said. ‘Where the hell is that doctor?’ he bellowed.

  ‘Here—’ the doctor said, coming out of the lavatory.

  ‘The only time we need you you’re “sitting on your fanny,’ Socks said. ‘See what’s the matter with Rocky.’

  Pedro was lying on the floor with Mack Aston straddling him, working on his stomach like a lifeguard with a man who had been drowning.

  ‘Watch it—’ Vee Lovell said, coming up with a bucket of water. Mack stepped back and Vee dumped the water in Pedro’s face. It had no effect on him. He lay there like a log.

  James Bates brought another bucket of water and doused him with that. Now Pedro began to show signs of life. He stirred, opening his eyes.

  ‘He’s coming to,’ Vee Lovell said.

  ‘I better get Rocky to the hospital in my car,’ the doctor said, taking off his linen coat. ‘He’s got a deep cut almost to the bone. It’ll have to be sutured. Who did it?’

  ‘That bastard—’ Socks said, pointing to Pedro with his leg.

  ‘He must have used a razor,’ the doctor said. ‘Here—’ Socks said, handing him the knife. Socks had the leather blackjack in his other hand, the thong still around his wrist.

  ‘Same thing,’ the doctor said, handing back the knife.

  Pedro sat up, rubbing his jaw, a dazed look on his face.

  ‘It isn’t your jaw,’ I said to him in my mind, ‘it was the back of your head.’

  ‘For Christ’s sake, let’s get going,’ Rocky said to the doctor. ‘I’m bleeding like a stuck pig. And you, you son of a bitch,’ he said to Pedro; ‘I’m going to prefer charges against you—’

  Pedro looked at him fiercely, saying nothing.

  ‘There won’t be any charges filed,’ Socks said. ‘I’m having enough trouble keeping open now. Next time be careful who you cheat with.’

  ‘I wasn’t cheating anybody,’ Rocky said.

  ‘—’ Socks said. ‘Take him out the back way, Doc’

  ‘All right, Rocky,’ the doctor said. Rocky started out. The temporary gauze bandage on his arm was soaked already. The doctor draped a coat around Rocky’s shoulders and they went out.

  ‘Are you trying to bust up this contest?’ Socks asked, turning his full attention to Pedro. ‘Whyn’t you wait till this was over to get him?’

  ‘I tried to cut his throat,’ Pedro stated calmly, in precise English. ‘He seduced my fiancée—’

  ‘If he seduced your fiancée around here he’s a magician,’ Socks said. ‘There’s no place to seduce anybody.’

  ‘I know a place,’ I said in my mind.

  Rollo Peters came into the dressing room. ‘You guys ought to be getting your sleep,’ he said. ‘Where’s Rocky?’ he asked, looking around.

  ‘The doc took him to hospital,’ Socks told him. ‘How are they out there?’

  ‘They’re calmed down,’ Rollo said. ‘I told ’em we were rehearsing a novelty act. What was the matter with Rocky?’

  ‘Nothing much,’ Socks said. ‘He just damn near had his arm cut off by this greaseball, that’s all.’ He handed him Pedro’s knife. ‘Here take this thing and get rid of it. You do the announcing till we find out about Rocky.’

  Pedro got up off the floor. ‘I am very sorry I have a very quick temper—’

  ‘I guess it could have been worse,’ Socks said. ‘It could have happened at night when we had a full house. How’s your head?’

  ‘It is sore,’ Pedro said. ‘I am very sorry this happened. I wanted to win the thousand dollars—’

  ‘You still got a chance,’ Socks said.

  ‘You mean I am not disqualified? You mean you forgive me?’

  ‘I forgive you—’ Socks said, dropping the blackjack into his pocket.

  … to be

  by said

  Warden …

  chapter ten

  HOURS ELAPSED: 783

  Couples Remaining: 26

  ‘LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,’ ROCKY announced, ‘before the derby starts the management has asked me to tell you that there will be a public wedding here one week from tonight—a real, bona-fide wedding right here on the floor between Couple No. 71, Vee Lovell and Mary Hawley. Step out there, Vee and Mary, and let the ladies and gentlemen see what a cute couple you are—’

  Vee and Mary, in track suits, went to the centre of the floor, bowing to the applause. The hall was packed again.

  ‘—That is,’ Rocky said, ‘if they are not eliminated in the derby by then. We hope not, anyway. This public wedding is in line with the management’s policy to give you nothing but high-class entertainment—’

  Mrs Layden tugged at the back of my sweatshirt.

  ‘What’s the matter with Rocky’s arm?’ she asked in a whisper. You could see Rocky had had some kind of an accident. His right arm was through his coat sleeve in the usual way, but his left arm was in a sling and on that side
he wore his coat like a cape.

  ‘He sprained it,’ I said.

  ‘They only took nine stitches in it,’ Gloria said, under her breath.

  ‘That’s why he wasn’t here last night,’ Mrs Layden said. ‘He had an accident—’

  ‘Yes’m—’

  ‘Did he fall?’

  ‘Yes’m, I think so—’

  ‘—introducing that beautiful screen star Miss Mary Brian. Will you take a bow, Miss Brian?’

  Miss Brian took a bow. The audience applauded.

  ‘—and that master comedian, Mr Charley Chase—’

  There was more applause as Charley Chase stood up in a box seat and took a bow.

  ‘I hate these introductions,’ Gloria said.

  ‘Good luck—’ Mrs Layden said as we moved towards the platform.

  ‘I’m sick of this,’ Gloria said. ‘I’m sick of looking at celebrities and I’m sick of doing the same thing over and over again—’

  ‘Sometimes I’m sorry I ever met you,’ I said. ‘I don’t like to say a thing like that, but it’s the truth. Before I met you I didn’t know what it was to be around gloomy people.’

  We crowded behind the starting line with the other couples.

  ‘I’m tired of living and I’m afraid of dying,’ Gloria said.

  ‘Say, that’s a swell idea for a song,’ said James Bates, who had overheard her. ‘You could write a song about an old nigger down on the levee who was tired of living and afraid of dying. He could be heaving cotton and singing a song to the Mississippi River. Say, that’s a good title—you could call it Old Man River—’

  Gloria looked daggers at him, thumbing her nose.

  ‘Hello, there—’ Rocky called out to Mrs Layden, who had arrived at the platform. ‘Ladies and gentlemen—’ he said into the microphone, ‘I want to introduce to you the champion marathon dance fan of the world a woman who hasn’t missed a single night since this contest started. This is Mrs Layden, and the management has issued a season pass to her—good any time, good all the time. A big hand for Mrs Layden, ladies and gentlemen. Will you take a bow, Mrs Layden—’